The 'What-if' Purgatory: Helping Anxious Job Seekers Overcome

After all these years it is still my experience that overcoming job search fear is the biggest barrier a job seeker faces… biggest in that it is the most common, and that it is the most damaging. If left unchecked, it can covertly rule this process and quickly unravel great progress. Whether a job seeking candidate has recently been released from prison or a prestigious but eliminated position, whether they are low-skilled and risk homelessness or highly-specialized and risk irrelevance, there is fear. 

We all face barriers, and in the hiring process we all face rejection. We wonder… “what if? what if? what if?” Fear is present and is often the underlying cause of barriers (especially barriers identified by the candidate but unlikely be an issue for employers).

What is a job seeker afraid of? 

You name it, people are afraid of it!... 

• Not getting the job, 
• getting the job, (strangely enough) 
• boredom, 
• too much responsibility, 
• family resentment, 
• not fitting in, 
• not performing well, 
• people discovering something negative about them, 
• relapsing into addiction, 
• not making enough money, 
• losing government benefits, 
• getting stuck in a job they hate, 
• answering tough interview questions, 
• getting another job that will be off-shored, 
• and so much more. 

To identify what a candidate is afraid of, watch, listen and ask! You may ask, “what is the worst thing that could happen if you… showed up to all our meetings, went to the interview, didn’t get the job, got the job?, etc.” If the job seeker is being honest, you will get to the thing they hope to avoid. 

Pro-actively “de-mystify” fear by acknowledging it early and often and reminding them that it is not just them. They are not weak or bad for feeling it. Get it out in the open so you can collaborate to work through it before it sabotages their workforce and career development success.

What does job search fear look like? 

Well, it does not look like “fear.” It must be observed, asked about and discovered because it manifests as various actions and attitudes… tardiness, avoidance, non-completion of tasks, bravado, defensiveness, excuses, distraction, and more. 

I once worked with a man who dealt with his fear of getting hired and quickly fired by being a “dream client.” He came early, stayed late, served coffee, and helped everyone job search (except himself!). People actually thought he was on staff! He did just enough that it appeared he would soon be working, but not enough to actually get a job offer. It took me a little longer to recognize the underlying fear in his case. Now I’m savvy to it! 

Fear looks like lots of things. Get great at detecting fear in your job seeker!

How do we distinguish actions and attitudes that are “fear-based”? 

Imagine two candidates, both of whom are chronically late and somewhat arrogant. 

For one, it is habit and personality; for the other it is a manifestation of fear… on some level they know that if they show up on time with a willing attitude, they will move forward quickly, and they can’t let that happen because what if?.... 

• To distinguish between the two, watch for timing and inconsistency; fear often crops up as new behavior when the risk increases. 
• Watch for changes in body language or a desire to reconsider the overall direction of the process. 
• Listen for excuses, reasons for slowing down or changing course. 

Demystifying it early and making this a regular part of your conversation will allow you and candidates to recognize fear. In the end, if a candidate is clear on what they get out of this process, has the information and training needed for job readiness, and has adequate support throughout, and is still not moving forward, it is probably fear.

What is the process for overcoming job search fear? 

In many of the same ways we reduce our own fears when life comes at us more quickly than is comfortable, and in lots of other ways. 

• We talk about it with a friend or counselor, 
• journal or process internally, 
• exercise, 
• get out in nature, 
• talk with others who are in similar situations or have successfully moved through them, 
• gather information, 
• partner with someone and do it together, 
• reduce tasks into manageable steps, 
• just go for it, 
• pray or meditate, 
• and more. 

What works for one person, may not for another. So, have a long list of fear-reducing strategies to suggest, and be sure they promote forward movement rather than avoidance or sabotage (e.g., I have worked with candidates who reduce their fear by getting high, getting pregnant or in some other way sabotaging this process). I limit my suggestions to what is legal, non-dangerous, and within my morale code, and I recognize that the best strategies are those that respond to each unique individual.

To help candidates address the fear factor and other barriers we must clearly identify them. This means thinking like the employer so we catch everything they may use to screen them out, and recognizing candidate fear and the barriers it can cause.